Elephant Love

http://in.news.yahoo.com/070830/43/6k3qs.html

Check that out.  Even animals love drama. not to mention the humans are loving every second of this love story. the gist is a a male elephant from the jungle broke into a circus troupe, freed 4 female elephants and eloped with one of them. and they are camping by the side of a pool by the way, which seems to strenghten an argument that elephants only make love under the water(it’s not true coz i have seen them hump on land on national geographic). well good for you Gajaraj and Gajsrani. Happy Humping!!

The white pants

I was forced to watch a couple of Kannada and Hindi movies a while. The common factor across these 4 movies were—White Pants. now common, WTF? white pants?? who the heck wears white pants? not any white I tell you. Distemper white they were. and white pants have a special power you see. they make gay people look straight and the staight ones gay. so basically i had watch a gay looking straight(apparently) guy make out with a fat woman. Ban those  damn white pants. but seriously, white pants? grow up bollywood.

watch that wieght you beer belly

i am confronted with a few weighty issues these days. i know i am not fat. skinny indeed but am getting slightly alarmed that my tummy is protruding like never before. i have like a really small frame and any thing i eat must be going straight to the belly. now the beer isnt helping much either i suppose. hmm..beer,what a wonderful thing to have been invented. but must always always limit it to one can. have two and you will wake up with a bleeding head ache that will haunt you the rest of the day. and it makes you fat too. i wonder whether that little enlarging circle on my stomach is actually a beer belly. i googled ‘beer belly’ and was surprised to see some reports that say there isnt quite such a thing called beer belly. and that beer is not the responsible to make you look like polar bear just before hibernation. hmm..the internet doesnt answer any questions any more but rather builds on your confusion until you are finally left to wonder ‘what is the meaning of life?’. now, to the main question ‘does beer cause your belly to bulge?’ absolutely, duh, and why? if nothing else it must be for that fact that it makes you hungrier than usual and dont forget all that fatty salty snacks you must have consumed while drinking. and alchohol in itself is high calorie stuff. no more beer for me, atleast not till i bring my stomach to its normal shape.

Aahh!! The magic of youth

so what happens when you know you’ll be hitting 30 in 2-3 years. Alarm bells starts ringing.  that one fine line in your face starts looking like a gigantic valley. your hands automatically start typing ‘anti aging’ into google as long as you are on your computer. you feel helpless when one survey reports anti aging creams work wonders and others claim they are of no effect whatsoever. so what do you do?  the only possible harm(hopefully) could that come out of using an anti-age cream is it wont work and your face ages anyway. but if you do not use it, you might regret not using it when that one fine line really does turn into a gigantic valley…so ladies and gentlemen go get that stupid tiny horribly expensive moisturizer, under eye cream.. and i hear there is one cream that apparently fights ‘the 7 signs of aging’.  hmm..i might as well get that one. less work. and atleast i wont regret that i never even tried to stop those lines that will prevent me from wearing that cool t-shirt and will make teenagers look at you in disgust if you do dare to wear a cool t-shirt that doesnt quite match your face any more…

A trip to Shirdi

Ok so i had been to shirdi. it’s a long way from bangalore. especially so because i traveled by a bus. first off, i booked a round trip ticket to shirdi on the internet. this is a somewhat new feature that KSRTC has introduced(booking tickets online i.e). the site works pretty well, although i think it only accepts icicibank credit card or sbi debit card or something like that. i had a slight problem boarding the bus coz the driver/conductor was suspicious of my ticket and my i.d(yeah they ask for a DL, or a similar id). morons!! i have booked airtickets online and never been asked for an id(although they insist you have one on the website). any toad face with frog voice took some convincing and then let me in.

i leave at 1.00 p.m on thursday and reach shirdi at about 9.00 a.m the next day. i can imagine you gasping at my herculean feat, but it was ok. what follows is pretty bad. the bus drops you off right in front of a hotel called ‘holiday park’. dont be fooled by the fancy name. it’s one of the grossest hotels ever and they charge you like 720 rupees per day. it aint worth the stink of 720 rupees. dogs!! they rip you off. let’s see, stinky room, stinkier bath room, tobacco stains on the bed sheets and pillows (i will not dare to the guess the sources of some of the other stains), horribly rude staff, bad food(although the dal fry and roti i had for lunch was okay). and the receptionist will tell you all kinds of stories like single people wont be given any accomodation in shirdi because of a police mandate. may be it’s partially true coz a guy sitting next to me while returning back in the bus said he had trouble finding accomodation because he was single. btw, the hilarious reason for this is that single people book rooms in shirdi and commit suicide. but as i was disgusted at the service and state of rooms at ‘holiday park’, i did a little asking around after Baba’s darshan and i found out, there quite a few that do give out accommodation for single people for about 400-500 rupees and they seemed in lot better condition than ‘holiday park’. So dont worry what the dumb ass at the ‘holiday park’ says. get a room somewhere else. that’s not the only thing these ‘holiday park’ guys do. they offer you a drop till the temple and they have a ‘pooja items shop’ over there. they ask you to leave your footwear there but you are forced to buy something at the shop for the ‘free’ service. ass holes think people have no brains. any way i had the first darshan at abt 1.00 p.m. there was quite a crowd actually.

so am back to the hotel and get some rest. evening i decide to have a second darshan, this time without the assholes’s ‘free’ drop to the temple. so i walk. i wasnt sure where to safely ‘park’ my shoes. so i see a few footwear near the entrance of the ‘darshan queue’ and leave my shoes there. BANG!! they were gone by the time i was back to collect them. so i couldn’t have walked back bare foot and took somebody else’s shoes. apparently am not a very smart thief coz i had picked up the dirtiest, oldest of the lot. damn me!! anyway i consoled myself that nobody would want to take these coz i planned on having a third ‘darshan’ the next morning.

i couldnt sleep at night. it was hot, i was all tired and even a sleeping pill did nothing. i felt like i was being attacked by dementors take all my happiness away leaving me with nothing but a profound sadness. couple this with lack of internet connectivity and you have a perfect recipe for unrelenting grief. had about 4 hours of sleep. the next day i had a ‘darshan’ again and when i exited the temple through the west gate — DANG!! there was  actually a place where you could leave your footware safely and this service was arranged by the temple authorities.

soon it was 1.00 p.m and time for me to depart. As much as i loved visiting the Lord and seeking His blessings i was glad to be going back to bangalore. i didnt have any problems with the driver/conductor over the ticket though. he didnt ask me for any id. i came back on sunday at around 10.00 a.m. was glad to play age of empires (yeah i know it’s outdated and evrything but am not game freak. i just have one game, that too accidentally).

I loved visiting Sai Baba and seeking His blessings. And now, it’s Good to be back!!!

why would you work?

if you had tons of money and an ensured supply of a few more tons throughout your life, would you work?  i know what exactly i would do. buy a house on a beach and watch television all day. in between i would travel the world and write stories. infact i would be a ‘travellogger’. that’s got to be the best job ever. and i might as well write a few books. although i am not sure what kind of books. i would have a lot of time to think about if i had the ton of money. may be i will hire people to think for me.