Why I lie about my age?

I often lie about my age especially if am sure I will never meet that person again. Not ashamed of being any age but my behaviour is often inconsistent with my age. I dont want to analyze why it so, lest some silly ass psychoanalyst tell me about my repressed childhood and how I secretly desire having sex with a snake!!! He might say some thing like how I am not a snake and while I grew up there were a lot of snakes around and hence developed a fascination for sleeping with them. Phew, eww. It’s easier to lie about my age than to explain my let’s face it, childish behaviour. I knock off 4-5 years and it has gained me a few text messaging friends. Text messagung seems to be a very popular thingy among late teens and early twenties types. It does fill the void and awkward doing-nothing situations when I am desparately looking for something to do. BTW, I am not a rabbit, lion or crocodile either. I hate too many choices<grin>

How to choose a spectacle frame..

Google on “choose spectacle frame” and you will find a thousand results and atleast 20 times more the number of advices to choose a spectacle frame to suit your face.  All of them advice to choose a frame depending on the shape of your face and to a very less extent your skin colour. Most of them describe faces to be of four types…round, triangle, square and heart shaped. And then they give contradictory advice — if one site tells square face should go with a square frame, the other will tell you to go for something that contrasts the shape of your face, say like an oval frame.

I say it’s all humbug. First there is no way you can determine the shape of your face. You will always find at least two ,if not more, shapes that will best describe your face. I always wonder whether my face is round or square. And seriously have you ever seen a triangular face? What the fuck is that? Secondly, there is no consensus among various sources about which frame will suit what kind of shape the best.

Here’s my take. The only way to choose the perfect frame is to TRY THEM ON. It might take you a trip to 3-4 shops and 3-4 hours to find the perfect pair but it is totally worth it. After all you are going to have to wear it for the next one year atleast and you dont want to look ugly for a whole year just because you didnt want to spend time on choosing the right pair, right? Eventually you will figure out. I think it is very similar to the way Harry Potter chose his wand (or the wand chose him whatever), you will know when you get your hands on the right pair.

However a few tips:-

1) Do not let the salesperson choose your frame. Often they have no fucking clue. I was   asked to try out the most ridiculous looking pairs saying they are either the latest or fanciest of them all.

2) If you are light skinned choose black or at least brown. Blue never works. Beware of blue and golden frames. Black is the best. Big plastic frames that very in right now look good on light skinned people, especially skinny people. Avoid two or multi colored frames especially if they have red or blue in them unless you are a really strange woman or woudnt mind looking an over-the-top gay man.

3) Dark skinned people – I dunno what color suits the dark skin but perhaps you should avoid big plastic frames and stick to thin metallic ones.

Hope you find you perfect pair. Have fun!!

The road trip

I went on a road trip from blore to kkumari and boy, it turned out to be more adventurous than I imagined.

The route was roughly like this:-

blore -> hosur -> krishnagiri -> karur -> munnar -> kochi -> tiruvantapuram -> kkumari.

Return:- kkumari -> dindigal -> madurai -> karur -> hosur -> bangalore.

It turned out to be a 4 night and 4 day trip. We left blore on friday about 4.30 and returned back to blore on tuesday at 5.30. The original plan was to return on late night Monday or early morning Tuesday…but it turned out we had something else in store for us.

Originally we were supposed to attend a wedding but as fate would have it we could not. Most of the trip was through Tamil Nadu. Did you know that Tamil Nadu has an equivalent of a dhaba where they serve oily parota(TN style paratha) with kurma(a spicy gravy)? You eat them off banana leaves and do remember to dispose those leaves into the bins otherwise you will earn an angry and sharp instruction to do so from the shopkeeper. This food is very inexpensive and quite tasty to eat once in a while but since it was the only thing I had for lunch and dinner three or four days in a row, I wasnt too impressed by it by the end of the trip. For breakfast it was dosa or omlette or idli. Again at dhaba like places.

We had four wonderful drivers among us and I like to think I contributed by occupying as little space as possible in the back of the car , lol, lol, whoa what a loser am I. I had no clue whatsoever what kind of trip it was. I didnt think it was a road trip. Actually I wasnt even in the plan until one of the five guys who planned the trip decided to not go and these guys asked whether I am interested and I said yes. I just wanted to get out of blore for a while for I had become too much of a blore equivalent of The Manhattan Boy(remember Sex and the City?).  It’s so easy to get into the city life of instant gratification and get addicted to it. Instant sex , instant food and buying stuff that you really dont need, sounds like a dream , but for me it was turning out to be a nightmare. One would realize the gravity of the situation, if he/she becomes so picky that he/she will ”do” a person of a very particular physical appearance and character. It’s a funny thing coz the city is so large, you get exactly what you want inspite of your narrow preferences. And that can be very corrupting. Exactly why your parents tell you to delay gratification when you are a child. And the next thing you know, it is chocolate brownie and cafe mocha all the time. Evolutionary pschychologically speaking I was supposed to be happy. Sex and food is all that is required, right? Clearly that isnt enough. Not nearly enough.

But I digress, the point is instant gratification wasnt working and I desparately wanted to get out of the rut.

Back to the trip, I must say I find travelling in a car on the highways is very scary. At every step there is very much a chance that a huge truck or bus will ram into you. But that is exactly what I wanted—-Stare into the face of potential death.

The munnar stretch was specially nerve wrecking. I was all nerves because it is a hilly route and a little miscalculation or a tiny error on your or some other driver’s part can send you rolling down the hill. I wasnt enjoying it very much.

In kovalam beach which is close tiruvanantpuram I lost my spectacles which were my favourite pair. However I had a spare and thus was spared the agony of squinting to find my way. And now comes the most exciting part. While en route to trunelveli from kkumari my worst nightmare came true. Our car rammed into a careless biker and the dude was propelled into the air by the impact. The side of the front window of the car was shattered. I would say it was fairly serious accident although none of us were hurt. This was it, it has finally happended, something that I knew would happen sometime considering all the statistics I have been going through. I couldnt think at the moment. I was totally blank. Luckily the other guys had more sense than I did. They put him in the car and took him to the nearby hospital. C and I followed the car on the dude’s bike. I was quite amazed by the behaviour displayed by my friends in this situation. They seemed to do the best they could possibly do in such a situation instead of going into a state of emptiness that I was in. I felt nothing but emptyness. Like a huge void, almost like nirvana. These are some pretty awesome guys, I thought. Then the dude was taken to a different hospital for furthur treatment. He wouldnt talk, I wondered how hurt he was. There was no blood or anything thankfully. The sight of blood would have made the matter worse. We went to the nearest police station to report the accident. We did nothing but wait at the police station from about 2.00 in the afternoon till 8.00 in the evening for one of the biker’s relatives to show up. Once they arrived it took only a few minutes to “settle” the matter. The biker wasnt probabaly as badly hurt as it looked. His relatives seemed quite unworried. It did bother me a little bit coz it’s creepy to know that your loved one is hurt and be unworried about.

Anyway we drove back to blore in the wrecked car. I was given the option of going by bus since I would not drive anyway. Now this is a tricky situtaion, I didnt want leave them coz that would imply I abandoned them in a difficult situation. I wasnt very sure why they suggested it. The empty feeling was still there and I didnt know what to say to that, it didnt matter this way or that. Anyway I didnt get the bus ticket so that settled the matter for me. I was to continue driving back with them. The way back was pretty uneventful although it was very stressful. 

So that was the Manhattan Boy’s adventurous trip to wonderland. I am glad about the way it turned out in the end plus I got know some pretty amazing guys. I havent done full justice about my experiences regarding this trip in this blog, I think I am gonna just keep them in my brain for while. Fin.

In for a ride?

Either am crazy or …..nut? Yes am gonna have a rise of my lifetime. Not to mention the drama thats unfolding elsewhere. That silly drama queen. Hope this is the last of those dramas. I am quite sick and tired of it. I just want to run away from them into a cave where no one can find me. Still I shouldnt be letting the queen from enjoying my ride. I signed up for it exactly because I want to finally get out of my shell and see the evo-psych species for what they really are. I hope I get my answer, even it it kills a huge part of my imaginary secluded near-delusional life.