Especially those dummies that are free spirits. Nothing bothers a free spirit but even a free spirit needs to earn a living often from a coporate enitiy and there is nothing anti-free spirit as a corporate workplace.
Top ten list of things to do to survive corporate culture:-
10. Look seriously worried about 5 times a day.
9. Wear look that says nothing all the time at office.
8. Always wear sober looking clothes. Dress casually and they think you are fun-boy. That does absolutely nothing for your career.
7. Keep socializing with peers and your boss at a bare minimum. Never smile at your boss unless he smiles first.
6. NEVER discuss race, religion, caste, gender, sexuality issues. I know your collegues will probably try to bring these senstive issues every now and then during lucnh or coffee break. Just listen and pretend you are ignorant. Let them have a go at it and laugh your ass out later.
5. NEVER give away too much personal information. Why dont you have a gf/bf? You know I havent really thought about. Right now am so into my work.
4. If you are anything of the minority that likes to actually read literature, care about arty stuff and generally have a tendency to scoff at “crass and crude” beer-and-cricket talk, dont give in to your impulse to be smug. These are things to nod about guilessly.
3. NEVER appear to be slacking. Slacking is totally recommend but only to be done subtely.
2. NEVER take your “little” problems to your boss just because you think you are new to the workplace. Try your best to solve them yourself . The boss is the last resort. He will kill your soul a little everytime he chips in to pretend to help you. That’s why it’s your last option.
1. NEVER take leave. Instead call in sick, that looks slightly more resonable than taking leave for a vacation.
Yes, you will probably burn yourself out in the process. But hey I didnt say it’s fun. Just helping you out to keep your job safe.
